The Evil-Doers of Comedy

Recently, I was lucky enough to get the chance to speak with Ahmed Ahmed, Aron Kader, and Maz Jobrani of the world-famous Axis of Evil Comedy Tour in Dubai. And by “speak with,” I mean interrupting their lunch and rather blatantly stealing Maz Jobrani’s chair (I suppose this is my chance to apologize – and I do, I really do).

Natalia: I see that you guys aren’t stabbing me with a fork for having to do this during your meal, and I thank you for that. How do you find Dubai?

Aron: I love it. It’s very, very opulent. My relatives in Jerusalem live humbly – no dirt floors or anything, but a very simple life, and this is a big contrast.

Maz: People here get our references.

Ahmed: Dubai is very modern. It’s a beacon of light, in this sense.

Maz: It’s not exactly perfect. But there are problems everywhere you go, right?

Natalia: So, I’ve done my research or so I hope. I think I can see what you guys have in common. The Middle Eastern heritage, the desire to challenge stereotypes, the dashing good looks. How are you different?

Aron: Different fashion sense. Ahmed is the one who wears the hats…

Maz: Are you writing this down? Because he’s joking.

Natalia: [momentarily feels like a dingbat] Let’s talk about racism against people of Middle Eastern origin in the United States.

Ahmed: It’s huge. There’s nothing funny about being Middle Eastern in America right now. I’ve been called a “sand-nigger,” etc. But comedy about stereotypes is like therapy, in that sense.

Maz: I think American co-exist well with each other, all things considered, but there are still issues of prejudice you can’t escape, which is why laughing with people is important, which is why this tour is important. It shatters stereotypes. Someone once told me: “I had no idea that you people even laughed.” We are portrayed as completely humourless and that’s not even the worst of it. You know, my mother has been told, “go back to your country, bitch.” She had an accent, and people with accents seem threatening. This is beside all the stuff you would get at school, as a kid. Kids are brutal. But there are always people who have it worse than you. Like the gas station attendants, think about the crap they get on a daily basis.

Ahmed: American racists are lazy too. Someone started targeting Sikhs after 9/11, because of the turbans. Sikhs aren’t even Muslim. It’s like the Joe DeRosa joke about American people thinking that Egypt has oil. Read More »

Clichés and Corny Lines

Look up bosom buddies

In the dictionary

[revised edition, 1962] Read More »

Stranger’s Snapshots: Dubai

A smashing Halloween costume usually requires a decent investment. But spreading terror can be cheap – if you’re a female in semi-tight clothing who happens to step into an elevator full of male Saudi adolescents. Read More »

Motorcycle Diaries

(This article was originally published in Jordan’s Living Well magazine)

Forgive me, Ernesto, for helping myself to this undeserved title of which I am grossly unworthy. I ask permission not only because I’m so unlike you in that I cannot believe in a single earthly dogma for the salvation of mankind so as to dedicate my whole existence to fight and die for it.

This noble, but often blinding, human trait is only part of the abyss that demarcates your fearless soul from mine. What really sets us apart here is that my inconsequential motorcycle expeditions will not leave these pages, whereas your celebrated treks are already grand history. And so are you. From t-shirts to boxer shorts, your portrait is a cult image more recognizable than most Hollywood celebrities. Alas, the only portrait you’re likely to find of this author is a Swiss police mug-shot for some serious traffic violations, but we won’t get into that. So Comandante, you still rock! Read More »

A Rebel’s Guide to the World – Part 2 (weirder, angrier & uncensored)

My dreams always haunt my sleep in two opposite but equally strange extremes.

Sometimes I have these totally unintelligible hallucinatory visions that I wake up actually believing I must have severe brain damage to be able to come up with such convoluted shit.

On the other extreme, sometimes I make so much eloquent sense inside a dream that I wake up thinking I could have hardly been asleep at all. I compose long articulate sentences, remember things I couldn’t recollect during the day, solve mathematical problems, even compose original musical tunes. And I wake up remembering every single detail. Come to think of it, this also could be the result of severe brain damage.

Anyway, last night I had one of the latter, elucidated kind. Read More »

A Rebel’s Guide to the World

What’s the point of writing yet another political article seeking to change the world, I would say to friends who ask me, when the world has proven to be such an unchangeable place.

But I guess I’ve had it with the status quo. I’m fed up with the things that don’t make sense in this world. Things like using Latin expressions left right and centre, such as ‘status quo’. Why do people borrow words from a language only a few people understand and no nation in the world speaks? Is Latin to language and academia what French is to etiquette and food; thrown about to sound fancy and ‘sophistiquée’ – where ‘sophisticated’ would have sufficed nicely and delivered the same meaning? I say, ipso facto, that this bona fide habit when abused ad infinitum is prima facie a non sequitur act per se. How does that sound if not pretentious and downright silly? Read More »