Real Love and Real Life

The author would like her readers to know that this piece underwent an editing process by ArabComment.

Finding love isn’t easy in our day of age. It seems to be everywhere, and nowhere, all at once.

People have abused the term in every way; you almost never know if it’s ‘love love’ or just plain old ‘love.’ Is your fifth grade crush considered love? Most people would disagree, but who are we to define it for you?

I’ve heard people swear that they ‘fell’ at the first sight of their beloved. Others report that they joined the lovers’ club through arranged marriage. Perhaps these different stories are a sign that love can be found anywhere, regardless of your lifestyle, provided you look hard enough.

Instead of looking, however, we spend a lot of time fantasizing. Every girl, at one point or another, dreams of the one: that super hunk of a guy (who just happens to resemble her favorite movie star), possessing the awesome qualities of kindness and generosity. He will make her happy because he understands her like no other. Most girls will tell you that money doesn’t matter, love is what counts. Yet, as we mature, demands will become more practical.

A woman wants to be loved and cared for. And yet, why do women often make bad decisions when it comes to relationships? I believe that it is women in particular who want to make their dreams come true, and they often persist in illusions that soon end with divorce or a loveless marriage.

Society finds it easy to blame a woman if she makes a bad choice of partner, but I personally can’t. No one wants to be lonely. And what happens if you pass this opportunity and the next doesn’t show up at your doorstep?

I believe that women especially are pressured by society to look and act in a certain way. Unfortunately, if we don’t fit certain norms, we are often deemed unattractive and unwanted. No wonder women of the modern world suffer from low self-esteem and its consequences.

By ensuring that we are constantly under pressure to be perfect, society has conditioned us to clutch at straws wherein our relationships with men are concerned.

As candidly as possible, I say this: the one might never show up at your doorstep, dear female reader, but please don’t let that become a bother. You decide who the one, your soulmate, lover, spouse will be. He could even be that simple guy with a modest salary and crooked teeth.

Furthermore, simply falling in love is not the pinnacle of your achievement. It’s staying in love that counts.

A relationship entails a lot of effort, determination and prayer. Yes, you read that right: PRAYER. Relationships practically need a miracle to work, just as giving birth to a 9 lb baby does. Hollywood and other forms of entertainment may continue to brainwash and pressure us, advertising may taunt us with visions of bliss purchased via lavish presents from Burberry and Chanel, visions of the one on his white horse or Lamborghini will continue to be sold to us, but inside, we know the truth. Real life with real people doesn’t work that way.

So remember, love is what you make it, so make it right (and never lose your head… not even in the springtime)!

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  1. Posted April 1, 2008 at 7:27 pm | Permalink


  2. loai
    Posted April 2, 2008 at 6:28 am | Permalink

    nice….i wish all woman read that

  3. Posted April 2, 2008 at 10:30 pm | Permalink

    what’s love got to do with it, eh? :)

  4. sf
    Posted April 3, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    A girl gotta dream! LOL
    But as you wrote,once you grow up you have to be *practical*. Love can be found everywhere and it doesn’t necessarily have to be love at first sight, or courting each other(of course in a halaal way)and then finally tying the knot. I found love through an arranged marriage. Though I did have my doubts, who doesn’t??? Alhamdulilah, am glad I made that choice. :)

  5. Posted April 3, 2008 at 6:38 pm | Permalink

    Thanks everyone.

    iMuslim: With what? :-)