Mine is a “reading wife.” She loves to read practically anything and everything that comes by her way. Her reading habits are interesting, since she comes from a society that puts less premium on reading and more on verbal communications and images.

She is a persistent reader despite the fact that our kind of society may even look down upon people who read, because reading is not yet an integral part of our social, cultural, and psychological make up.

While in other societies it is common to see people holding books and newspapers in public places, such a sight is rare in Jordan, or, for that matter, in the different parts of the Arab world where I have also lived in. This is why I look with curiosity upon my “reading wife” simply because the reading culture or the book culture is not there to support her. In spite of that, she would munch through myriads of words, as if their meanings and extrapolations were Turkish delight.

She was socialized in a “readersless” society and had the tenacity to pick up books, opening her mind and indulge in a literature that took her far from her roots, though she continues to value our Arabic and Islamic traditions.

In between getting the house chores done, taking the kids to and from school, cooking, cleaning, and taking them (and, occasionally, me) to doctors, the flow of her reading today remains at a constant pace, a steady momentum that only she can control.

I don’t really know how she manages to find the time, but she closes herself in, finding “reading time” whenever she can. When she reads about something that really matters to her she might discuss it with me, but most modern novels, some that may be wrongly described as pulp, she leaves to herself.

I don’t mind me telling you she is putting all of us to shame, since we rarely read and looking at words on a page is not really in our blood, despite the fact our Holy Koran has instructed us it to read, and fathom knowledge; even if we have to go to China to acquire it, as the saying goes!

She sometimes teases me that most of us don’t have not the guts to read, nor the energy to understand, we prefer verbal communication, and are guided by cinema and television. When I shoot back that she too watches television, she replies that she is in favour of balance.

She makes sure she sticks to a balanced reading ‘diet’ while I sit by and envy her, sometimes inspired to follow suit. Hers is an acquired habit of discipline, as if she were saying to herself “I’ll put in two or three hours a day to nourish my mind.”

She makes it a habit to read on the couch even while the kids are watching television, and I don’t know how she can actually become so consumed despite the noise. She reads in the bathroom at long and frequent bouts, and reads in bed despite the fact that she hardly needs to be rocked to sleep late at night.

She started first reading in the 1980s when she came to England, with one of her first books being Spy Catcher by Peter Wright, after the then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher tried to ban it. She decided to read the book because of the controversy surrounding it, due to the fact that certain officials said it compromised intelligence.

For her this was to be the beginning of a reading journey that blossomed over the years, despite the fact that reading and writing is a solitary, lonely, confining experience.

Because of the nature of our society, that which stresses kinship, my wife carries on with her reading without compromising any of her social commitments. She reads away from prying eyes of my mother, father, sister, and so on. Her reading is confined to our house.

Following Spy Catcher, she moved on to the works of the late Edward Said, which are today standard textbooks on post-colonial societies and their development.

I had bought the books to read one day, as I suppose many people do, but they ended up as decorations in what has become an interesting English and Arabic book library. I complained that I had no time to read, because of my supposed other engagements. She would leave me to my complaints and keep reading quietly.

As a housewife she is a multi-tasking reader, reading for knowledge, intellect, and sheer curiosity, to improve the agility of her brain and exercise her mind, as well to simply enjoy herself, to relax, and to lose herself in the narrative when other matters threaten to overwhelm her.

She was the one who taught me that one can read books purely for enjoyment. It occurred to me then that veteran readers start to accumulate what can be recognized as “reading experiences,” whereby you become fluent in language and sentence construction, which becomes useful when you are editing other people’s work.

My wife has accumulated a rich reading experience, while her thought process has become more methodical. Similarly, I have felt that my ideas, and the way I expressed them, were becoming more organized and systematic, as I read to improve the quality of my writing.

Marwan Asmar is the Responsible Editor of Jo Magazine, a monthly publication produced in Amman that mainly deals in local affairs and writes frequently on Palestinian-Israeli and Arab issues. From 1993 until 2003 he was the Managing Editor of the Star, an English-language political, cultural and economic weekly, also in Amman.

Tags: books, dr. marwan asmar, family, jordan, reflections